The List

Dear Internet:

I’m a habitual list-maker and rule-follower (my own rules, at least; I’m not so great with others’). So, as expected, I’m pretty into New Year’s resolutions. Here’s the list for 2003:

1. Pay off debt
This one graduated from last year’s list. It’s going to happen this year. Really.

2. Do something good with the front yard
No yard butts, no dumbass decorative flags for every minor holiday. I’m talking buying a copy of Time-Life’s Decks, Porches, and Patios and going to town. Or at least asking my dad to do it while we stand around making helpful comments.

3. Complete one major house project
Now you’re thinking I’m Martha Stewart, right? Totally. We’re redoing the kitchen. New floors, new countertops, new fridge. So much stainless it’ll blind us when we flip on the lights.

4. Buy a bed
This one’s already taken care of. It’ll be here Wednesday morning, if you want to stop over and try it out.

5. Stop complaining so much
Now we get to the real challenge. I’m trying, I swear.

6. Read a book a month
It’s stupid to have to schedule reading time, but that’s what I have to do. Honestly, I feel guilty about sitting and reading. But if I don’t, my brain will entropy. Even more than it has.

7. Keep up with yoga
I don’t think this will be a problem, because I really dig it. And you know what? Great flexibility = great sex. That’s all you need to know.

8. Buy a bike
I want to ride my bike to work, since it’s only three miles and it will allow me to avoid the new Best Buy headquarters that will soon be pissing me off every single day as I drive by it. I’m a little worried that my too-suburban office building doesn’t have bike racks, though. Don’t worry, I’ll complain about it if they don’t. Oh, wait. #5. Right.

So, there it is. Now that you know, I expect you to hold me to it.


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